Constantine, who?
by Alex Wilder
Summary: The Synchronicity Highway hooks up Constantine and the Doctor so the former can see his dear old dad.
1. Prologue

I take a drag off the last cigarette in me pack, the last ones always the best. Not quite sure where it is that I'm headed. That's the way it usually is innit? When I'm cruising the Synchronicity Highway. When the world is my taxi and I'm always at the right place at the right time. No place to go really, when everywhere I need to go I'll get to anyway. I flick the remnants of me cig into the cobbled street and without ceremony begin walking. There's one place I'd like to go though, I go back to see me dad, before I killed the bastard. No use living in the past though, I can't get there from here. London's dead quiet this time of night and the stars are all dead tonight. The sky's blacker than a demons heart. I turn a corner into some dark forgotten alley and sitting there, blue as anything, is an old police box. A blokes sitting out in front of it and when he sees me he starts getting all excited like. He stands up and offers his hand for me to shake.

"You're John Constantine, right?" he says.

"Yeah", I say, "and who would you be?" I take his hand and he smiles wide.

"Me? I'm the doctor"

"Doctor who?" I ask.

His smile grows wider

"Exactly"


	2. Chapter 1: The Circle of Life

The Doctor, he says, funny name that. Come to find he's an alien. "A Time Lord from Galifrey" or some such nonsense. He met me in the future and I told him to go back and take me to see me dad. Funny old world innit?

"So uh, Doctor was it?" I try to keep a straight face, magic's a long way off from aliens. "What was I like, in the er, future?"

"Well", he says all proper like, "I can't be telling you too much, but you were very robust".

I don't ask, instead taking my time to survey the time machine. "so hows this thing work", I say, already aching for another cigarette. "The TARDIS is a unique vehicle, capable of travelling not only through space, but also through time…" he continues running back and forth pulling levers while he says all this.

"Looks to me mate", I say, "that you're just pushing buttons".

At this he smiled and said, more to himself than me, "same old john, or should I say young john". He then pointed at me or rather next to me and said, "Pull that lever there will you, that one makes it go".

So I pulled and quickly wished I hadn't.

* * *

"John, you've got to stop, smoking", said the Doctor as he leaned up against his police box. I was hacking up a lung after puking up me guts from riding in that bloody blue box!

"I would", I said, "but the cigs are what keep me sane". After another bit of hacking , I try to see where we are and if I can even find my dad's old house. The Doctor got us stuck in some field but I know where we are, It's a good walk from me dads but no impossible.

"Couldn't you get this thing any closer", I say.

"You're lucky I even I got us in the right year", says the Doctor, I'm usually off by a century". And I thought I was the court jester.

We start walking and find the road that leads up to town. About ten minutes into walking I see some kids I used to know walking towards us. Can't remember their names but they were right nasty to me as a kid, and me being me, well…

"Hello lads, do you know a young man about your age, John Constantine? He's me nephew"

The boys sniggered with a nasty look in their eye. "Yeah, we know Johnny", they say with their smarmy little smiles.

"John", says the Doctor.

"Just a minute", I say, "Well you boy's be nice to Young John alright? Otherwise you'll be sorry" (The wording here is important, as long as they say yes they'll be locked into a curse which will give them bad acne, weak bladders and impotency when the little snot's start balding to early).

"Sure sir, we're always nice to john", they say

The boys run off and the Doctor and I continue walking.

"There was no need for that john, they were just children", says the Doctor, "and you know how children are,from the day they arrived on the planet and blinking stepped into the sun... there is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than-- no, sorry. That's The Lion King. But you know what I mean right?"

"Yeah, whatever", I say, "You haven't got any silk cuts have ya? I'm dying for a cigarette".

* * *

_Author note: few notes here on aspects of the characters. I have no idea how Constantine's magic works, aside from when he summons demons, so this is just a guess at something he can do. Although in the "hard time" arc of hellblazer, I seem to remember him cursing someone in a similar fashion. The Doctor's lion king quote is from that Christmas episode, I think, but it is a David tennant quote from the show._


End file.
